strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize