Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
