It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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