Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
