I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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