You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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