They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
