Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
