I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
ok first of all what the fuck
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
