I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
