ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
