dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
