My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We need to rekindle our bromance
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize