Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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