Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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