I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
