I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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