Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
