I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just had sex on a roof
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
