I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
