I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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