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Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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