hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Drunk is not a location!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
