Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize