If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize