Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish I could teleport
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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