I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
