Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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