i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Randomize
