i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
