Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
