he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
