they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
