and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
