Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
