Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I want her autograph on my taint
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
