Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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