spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
