Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize