With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
