My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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