Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize