we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
