Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
