I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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