So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
