if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
