I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
