I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
