If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I party with great urgency now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
