This dress was meant to end up on your floor
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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