Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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