I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
