i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
