butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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