"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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