Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
