I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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