I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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