Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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