i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
