I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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