when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
