Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize